leaving tomorrow.

it's 11:21 and i have to go to bed. but i just gotta say something first.

i'm leaving to be a counsellor at camp again tomorrow. i'm so excited. and when i say i love camp, i don't mean that i enjoy going there or have tons of fun or love being with my friends. i mean, of course those things are true. but over these 8 summers, camp has become rooted inside of me. it's my second home. my fellow staff members feel like my family. when i'm there, i feel like a fuller version of myself. everything there is fuller and has more meaning. everything is as it should be.

trying to write this down  is pointless. i've got too many feelings. so i'll probably just go sleep. 

roughly 15 hours until i'm there again.

beach-combing.

I've dropped my heart many times and knelt down to pick up the pieces. Sometimes I forget one or pick up a new one along the way. It's like beach-combing, a mundane existence - one that I may be able to leave behind someday when I'm better off.
(pictures from june 2012)

listen.

little things.

"Here are some little things I love. Snickerdoodles. Chocolate Chili Chai . Strings of white lights. Bobby pins. Mechanical pencils. Getting a letter in the mail. Having only lessons on a school day. Efraim's shy smile. Glitter. The #for abbie tag on tumblr. Eating icicles. Pretty earrings. Wavy hair. Zach's giggling. Notebooks. My TOMS. Being on the road. Texting friends. Tweeted conversations. The key of C#. Books that you can't seem to stop turning pages. Colored skinny jeans. Good hair days. Discovering a new favorite song and putting it on repeat. Pine trees. The feel of grass underneath my feet.

And there are so many other things I could list. Some bigger things too, like our piano and the Dining Hall at summer camp and Switchfoot and the baseball field and the view of the sunset behind the church and Lord of the Rings. Just counting them up makes me remember how blessed I am, and the majority of these things that I shared are a part of my everyday life. I can't take the mundane for granted.


And even though it's been -30 degrees every day and I'm much too afraid to go outside, there is still a sky worth gasping at every time I look. You just take one glance at that big blue expanse and you can't help but think, "I'm alive."

from my 750 words entry today.

let's check up on abbie grace. (some stats for you.)

it's been a great week.

i tweeted switchfoot lyrics back and forth with friends, had a birthday party for my brother, thought about maybe getting bangs in my hair, started writing on 750 words (i'm on a four-day streak and it's been so good for my heart.) i had meaningful talks with my friends (meaningful conversations are my favorite), discovered some new music, and learned to crochet. i saw the hobbit again with my dad, and on the way there we talked for an hour about all his adventures in africa & israel. (i learned that my thirst for travel is inherited.) i tried earl grey tea for the first time and it brought back a distant childhood memory that i couldn't seem to grasp and still can't for the life of me.

some favorite songs.

i will wait - mumford and sons
i am still running - jon foreman
the cave - mumford and sons
breath of life - howard shore
radagast the brown - howard shore (one of my favorite soundtrack songs for the hobbit. i've listened to it 57 times, according to iTunes.)
riddles in the dark - howard shore
concrete girl - switchfoot

some favorite writings.

in hibernation - nevermind
christmas in killarney - the inglenook
stop running - i swear there's gold in those hills. acres are plenty in heart.
i am the sad in a novel - restless
to be sixteen - pieces of a real heart
things to smile about - chapter thirteen
the sea + its potent power - the photography blog of ellie be!
this is for the mornings - i swear there's gold in those hills. acres are plenty in heart. (okay pretty much every post from this week by hannah nicole.)

have a lovely sunday.

a bit of poetry.

It's January 12th, 2013
And so much time has passed already
I feel like it's April
For the warmth outside
But it's expected to pass into cold again tonight
Back into frozen darkness

And maybe it's just a thought
But I think the rain has us all confused
Excited to break free of winter
When in reality we're stuck here
For another 10 weeks

And I look closer into the glass
Hoping to see a pretty face
But how can I call myself beautiful
When I hurt the ones I love the most?

-abbie grace-
    (2013)

learning that i need Jesus every day and all the time.

if i try to be loving and graceful and thankful, without Him involved, there's nothing there. it's fruitless, pointless, even impossible. i need Him to work through me and be in me, with me, so i can bless other and show more love.

this morning at church, the sermon topic was having a vision for your life. one of the first steps to finding your vision was "dare to seek Jesus". i want to be a seeker of Him but sometimes i feel like i don't know how. honestly the best advice i would give myself is "if you want to seek Him, just do it." it's that simple, abbie grace. read your bible and journal about what speaks to you. keep a prayerful heart. remember what He says in His word. if you want to follow Him wholeheartedly, make a choice and just do it.

2013 // all is grace.

grace.

a small word with a big meaning and a big impact on lives.

a girl whose middle name was grace, yet it took her 14 years to learn what grace is.

a girl named abbie grace.

a girl who once lived with closed hands, who planned her days around her own endeavours, who cried and said that she didn't know how to love. moments were hard and she held tightly to whatever joy there was left in her life.and while she thought everyone was okay, the truth was, she was alone and sad.

yet as she got older, pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place and she knew she needed God. but now what? where was grace? grace for crying eyes and fingers digging into skin? grace for little brothers growing up too fast and old wounds coming back again? grace for forgotten resolves and days spent waiting? grace for red, cracked skin on dry hands? grace for words that can never be unsaid and grace for a battered heart?

i am that girl, i am abbie grace, i am learning that with God, all is grace. 

in the light of His love and His goodness there is grace for everything and everything is grace. He has blessed me so i can bless. He has shown me grace and now there is a grace overflow and i can show it to others. if there is enough grace for me there is certainly enough for you and for everyone. and when it gets started it can't be stopped. an endless cycle of grace.

2013. a new year, a new start. a new chance to show grace and to see redemption. a new chance for abbie grace to live up to her name.

and i'll be writing about it here.